HOME AGAIN.......

02.04.2016

The GF recovered well  enough although the finest selection from the Friteries just about did for me. We had an early  start, having been warned by Email, text and website that we should present ourselves at the correct time chez  eurotunnel  in order to catch the 07.50 only to discover when we booked in at 07.00 that they were experiencing unexpectedly high volumes and we were bounced back to 08.20......wait a minute?  we booked this 5 months ago and if it was OK then, who had they given our slot to ? I feel a 3 page letter coming on.
And the usual slick tunnel operation  was sadly lacking, but probably down to the french.
Normally we get a 'full' interior search for stowaways by the UK border force  (ie who's hiding in the toilet , sir) but today was the full-on CRS -Gendarmes  treatment and a DNA swipe round the steering wheel to which I objected. As I explained, in my best francaise,  I wished to be assured that when they  had satisfied themselves that I was not on the jihadi terrorist database, my DNA  swipe would be erased and not stored on their system and subsequently made available to the other 27 EU countries (although this being france , that last bit was meant more as a joke to relieve the tension than an actual suspicion that this might happen.)
The wooden stare that greeted my objections, followed by the wand - thingy  being thrust through the window and waved over the steering wheel and dashboard did nothing to calm my fears that I am now on the grid big time and that if I want to blow something up I need a new set of fingers.
Nice to be home.......although HMRC has done it's best  (on 2 counts ) to spoil the homecoming and will be hearing from me on Monday at 09.00 + however  many hours it takes to get through to anybody.